I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
People in love make me want to vomit
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
