i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
