Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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