I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
