i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Randomize
