we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
