no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
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