Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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