.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
