Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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