I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
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