shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
