addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
