The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
