Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
