just come out here and I will go home with you...
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
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