I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
His nipple licking is glorious
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