I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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