My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Randomize
