Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
