Porn is love you can see.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
They took my balls.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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