Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
