do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
