Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
vagina is talking i cant
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
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