it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
