Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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