Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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