She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
