Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize
