dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
