Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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