I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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