i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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