If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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