idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
