OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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