So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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