i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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