Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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