well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
