She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
