i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
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