A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
