now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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