Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Randomize