the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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