Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
