u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
