I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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