just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
