No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
