Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You need a sexual gate keeper
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Can you repeat that, but with context?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
