What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Randomize
