hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
