I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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