i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize