i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
