Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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