He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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