sarcasm needs its own font
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
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