the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
