shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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