I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
