if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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