last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.