walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
