grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
